Tuesday's Tab

Has God ever hurt your feelings? Think about it.
What do you do when He does? Who do you turn to? Who do you talk to?

My husband and I have gone through a particularly hard time lately (still going through it), and I was thinking - "you know, God, you've really hurt my feelings this time." You see I know that He could breathe the word and our situation would do a 180! I know that He could have spoken the word and healed my precious friend, Barbara, of the cancer that took her life. I know that He could speak the word and remove the pain that wracks my body on an ongoing basis.

So why doesn't He do any of this? The truth is I don't have the answer. I may never have the answers to my why questions. So now what? What do I do now? Do I shake my fist to the sky and say, "fine, I quit?" What am I quitting? What am I going to do after I quit? Where am I going then?

No, I sit down and pick up His Word once more and look for answers - not answers to my why questions - but answers to what do I do now? He didn't do what I thought He should do - so what do I do with that? I say, "here I am with the leftover faith, the dashed hopes, the unfulfilled dreams ... now what do you want me to do with them?" That's what I look for an answer to. Because regardless of how disappointed I am, regardless of how much my feelings are hurt with Him ... He's still God, and He's still our only hope. And there's a reason why I am where I am. Do I understand it? No! Do I have the answer as to why? No! Do I know why God didn't heal my friend on this side of heaven? No! Do I know why He chose to take my Dad instead of healing him here? No! But I know that I know that I know ... He's still God and my only hope is in Him.

Though my feelings may be hurt for now, I will not be offended at Him. I will not hold a grudge. I will not give up because He didn't do what I wanted Him to. I will look to Him where my soul is anchored, and "yea though He slay me yet will I serve Him."

Matt 11:6 KJV: And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.